Alaska Robin: Whoa there, Nessie

slo

slow

slow d

slow do

slow dow

slow down

SLOW DOWN

slow down

slow dow

slow do

slow d

slow

slo

On a scale of 1-10, just how obnoxious would it be for me to get this tattooed on my forehead? Kidding.

I feel that generally, I'm a pretty skittish/jumpy/excitable person. On a normal basis. I tend to get flustered easily when there's a lot going on, and I may or may not semi shut down when too many people are around. I know this isn't too uncommon of a predicament, but I'm not fond of how these habits leave gaps in my records. When I'm sky-high happy, I'm an ear to ear goober grin/shouting on mountaintops kinda person. When I'm in a... blueish (blue? oook) mood, words are where I'll usually turn. Write it out, read it out, list it out, doodle it out, something like that. I think this might be a part of liking control of things. Like if I diagnose my blueishness, I have a better handle on it. Blueishness aside, there still exists the gap where those non-blue moments should go in my journals. I don't think I could begin to count the things that I wish had words to match the smiling and laughing and hugging that comes with this whole "life" thing I've got goin on here. Ya know?

One piece of advice my brother shot at me in a could've/should've/would've way was to record the highs of this journey, cause they're what's gonna pull you out of the lows. Receiving the call to serve... This is one of the highs he was talking about right? Ohhhh.....
There's the part of my brain that's been screaming "SLOW DOWNNNNN, crazy lady. SLOW DOWN." Think I'm ready to listen to that now.
When I've dug myself into a nice deep dark hole, I want this to be a step back upwards. Or something.

So here's me, telling myself to slow down.
Slow down and realize that

I'm scared.
I'm excited
I'm hungry
I'm scared
I have no idea what I'm doing
I'm a HUGE crybaby
There's no way I'm not going 2 millz with this ("this being the whole mission thing")

Everyone keeps asking what I'm gonna miss the most. First of all it's only 18 months. Second of all it's ONLY 18 months :(. I'm not even out there and I'm already in love with Colorado. I have the feeling that this is gonna be the beginning of a beautiful relationship, Denver. "I can feel it in my nuggets." Honestly though the main things I'm gonna miss are my mom and the food from home hahaha. The rest is minor, right?
Apologies. I'm rambling here. 88.763% sure this is gonna be my last live/me type it myself post until I get back. That being said... I... yeah sd;fs;dfjslghlsdfhksjdfhskdfblsdflsdfslahhhhh
Once again